I don't usually shop at Target because it is filled with snobs but now that they are all boycotting it and switching to Walmart I guess I can shop there again.
Article
Stay tuned for next week when WalMart is evil again and Target is everyone's favorite uncle who gives out free unicorn rides.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Housekeeping
Remember when Roxann thought she was going to have to make her blog private and we all had to give her our email addresses so that she could invite us to her blog. Well, I might have to do the same thing. I won't go into it, but despite the fact that this blog is only meant for family and a very few select friends someone else read it and was offended. Admittedly, what I said wasn't very nice. We all know that I am not a very nice person anyway. Even though said post was written over a year ago the offended person just read it a few weeks ago. I have removed the offending post and apologized.
So, if you are a member of my family and would like to continue to read my infrequent ramblings please leave me your email address. If you are not a member of my family and your name is:
Gary or Melanie
Heather
Rachel
please leave me your current email address (you might as well be family). I should have most of your addresses already but I just want to make sure.
If I forgot someone I am sorry.
If you read this post and it offended you, maybe we aren't meant to be acquainted. Get over it.
So, if you are a member of my family and would like to continue to read my infrequent ramblings please leave me your email address. If you are not a member of my family and your name is:
Gary or Melanie
Heather
Rachel
please leave me your current email address (you might as well be family). I should have most of your addresses already but I just want to make sure.
If I forgot someone I am sorry.
If you read this post and it offended you, maybe we aren't meant to be acquainted. Get over it.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Brick Gets Lost
As you all know, several years ago I gave birth to what I thought was a regular human child but turned out to be in fact to be some sort of human/animal/robot/stuntman hybrid. This might be one of the sweetest children to ever live, but he is also the toughest, craziest and most ruthless child on the planet. He seems to have been sent here with a special mission to accomplish. That mission: attempt to kill his mother through either psychological or physical means. I assure you that he is slowly accomplishing him mission and doing it with more charm than you would think could be found in a 2 year old. I seriously weep for the girls who will come across him during the dating years.
Brick's normal M.O. is to do something that will make me so angry I want to spank him and then turn around and smile at me as though he has done nothing wrong at all. He specializes in the destruction of everything I own and some of the things other people own. He loves to climb so that almost nothing is out of his reach. The other thing he loves to do is hurt his sister, not because he is mean, but because he thinks it is fun and has a naturally high threshold for pain. If something does not hurt him, he cannot fathom it hurting anyone else. Let me assure you, almost nothing causes him physical pain. Because he is so naturally sweet he almost never understands why he is in trouble and he gets his feelings hurt when he is put into time out for something he just doesn't see as wrong. In short, despite being so ruthless he is entirely without guile. He understands right from wrong and knows what is really , really wrong but has trouble translating that knowledge to all of his actions. For example, in a room full of people and other children, he will wail on everyone in the room with a sword except for the babies. He understands that they are too little to "play" that way, but he does not understand that he is hurting all the people who are bigger than he is.
I live in constant fear that he will find a way to inadvertantly kill himself or send me into early labor. Several months ago he pulled a large knife out of the dishwasher and tried to sword fight Mailee with it. She was not amused. A few weeks ago he climbed on top of the stove and pulled everything out of the cupboard above the microwave, including an entire box of matches which he spilled all over the floor. Last week I had enough with trying to keep him from climbing up the shelves in the pantry and I had Mark install a lock high up on the pantry door. Mark also installed a lock on the door to the garage since I discovered Brick was climbing up on a little railing to reach the garage door opener. Thus brings me to this morning's event.
Mark wakes the kids up in the morning, gets them dressed and then feeds them breakfast. I usually stay in bed for 30-45 minutes after he leaves and then get up to survey the damage. This morning I did as usual, but instead of checking on the kids right when I got up I got straight into the shower. After the shower I headed downstairs in my robe. Mailee was in the office watching Rocky and Bullwinkle and I could hear the computer in the kitchen playing Alvin and the Chipmunks. I assumed Brick was downstairs but he was nowhere to be found. The door to the garage was open but he wasn't in the garage and the van was locked. Mailee said she hadn't seen him since Mark left for work. She and I looked for him around the house but I knew he couldn't be anywhere in the house. He wasn't answering me when I called for him and Brick never does that. I knew the only way he wouldn't answer me if he was in the house is if he had fallen asleep somewhere and I knew he would not have fallen asleep unless he was upset and stuck somewhere and there was nowhere in the house where he could have gotten stuck.
My big fear was that he had somehow gotten outside, maybe when Mark left for work. He could have snuck out and gotten stuck out there when Mark closed the garage door. Other possibilities were that he had opened and then closed the garage door himself or that he opened the door and someone else had closed the door after snatching him. I called Mark and he was fairly sure Brick was in the kitchen when he left for work. Keep in mind that there is heavy construction going on on the hill behind our house. So I opened the garage door and looked down the street. I could see dad out in his yard and I thought maybe Brick had walked down to see him. No such luck. Dad headed up the hill to make sure he hadn't been run over by any trucks and I called mom to come up and help us look.
In the meantime I headed back inside to look again (even though I knew he wasn't in the house) and decided I'd better look in the van again (even though it was locked and I didn't see him when I looked through the windows). As I unlocked the van, the lights came on inside and I could see Brick's legs sticking up from the stroller in the back of the van. I couldn't see his head and he wasn't moving. Filled with absolute terror, I opened the back of the van. His head was under the stroller, his legs and arms out and he was fast asleep. I picked him up and he immediately woke up and started crying. "I stuck, mommy. I stuck," he cried. He told me he had gotten in the van to look for his lunch box because he was going to Parents Day Out with Mailee (Mark had already packed his lunch box and put it in the locked pantry). While he was in there he'd accidently locked himself in the van and then gotten stuck in the back. No one could hear him yelling and he apparently cried himself to sleep. The poor thing was so upset and kept saying over and over that he was stuck and needed his lunch box. Mom walked up about this time and saw that I had found him. We called Dad down off the hill and tried to calm down together.
For the first time in weeks I wasn't mad at Brick for making me crazy. I was just grateful I'd found him and not under the wheels of a bulldozer. I know he will continue to get himself in trouble and I know that someday soon we'll visit an emergency room for more stitches or something, but I'm just glad to have him, craziness and all.
Brick's normal M.O. is to do something that will make me so angry I want to spank him and then turn around and smile at me as though he has done nothing wrong at all. He specializes in the destruction of everything I own and some of the things other people own. He loves to climb so that almost nothing is out of his reach. The other thing he loves to do is hurt his sister, not because he is mean, but because he thinks it is fun and has a naturally high threshold for pain. If something does not hurt him, he cannot fathom it hurting anyone else. Let me assure you, almost nothing causes him physical pain. Because he is so naturally sweet he almost never understands why he is in trouble and he gets his feelings hurt when he is put into time out for something he just doesn't see as wrong. In short, despite being so ruthless he is entirely without guile. He understands right from wrong and knows what is really , really wrong but has trouble translating that knowledge to all of his actions. For example, in a room full of people and other children, he will wail on everyone in the room with a sword except for the babies. He understands that they are too little to "play" that way, but he does not understand that he is hurting all the people who are bigger than he is.
I live in constant fear that he will find a way to inadvertantly kill himself or send me into early labor. Several months ago he pulled a large knife out of the dishwasher and tried to sword fight Mailee with it. She was not amused. A few weeks ago he climbed on top of the stove and pulled everything out of the cupboard above the microwave, including an entire box of matches which he spilled all over the floor. Last week I had enough with trying to keep him from climbing up the shelves in the pantry and I had Mark install a lock high up on the pantry door. Mark also installed a lock on the door to the garage since I discovered Brick was climbing up on a little railing to reach the garage door opener. Thus brings me to this morning's event.
Mark wakes the kids up in the morning, gets them dressed and then feeds them breakfast. I usually stay in bed for 30-45 minutes after he leaves and then get up to survey the damage. This morning I did as usual, but instead of checking on the kids right when I got up I got straight into the shower. After the shower I headed downstairs in my robe. Mailee was in the office watching Rocky and Bullwinkle and I could hear the computer in the kitchen playing Alvin and the Chipmunks. I assumed Brick was downstairs but he was nowhere to be found. The door to the garage was open but he wasn't in the garage and the van was locked. Mailee said she hadn't seen him since Mark left for work. She and I looked for him around the house but I knew he couldn't be anywhere in the house. He wasn't answering me when I called for him and Brick never does that. I knew the only way he wouldn't answer me if he was in the house is if he had fallen asleep somewhere and I knew he would not have fallen asleep unless he was upset and stuck somewhere and there was nowhere in the house where he could have gotten stuck.
My big fear was that he had somehow gotten outside, maybe when Mark left for work. He could have snuck out and gotten stuck out there when Mark closed the garage door. Other possibilities were that he had opened and then closed the garage door himself or that he opened the door and someone else had closed the door after snatching him. I called Mark and he was fairly sure Brick was in the kitchen when he left for work. Keep in mind that there is heavy construction going on on the hill behind our house. So I opened the garage door and looked down the street. I could see dad out in his yard and I thought maybe Brick had walked down to see him. No such luck. Dad headed up the hill to make sure he hadn't been run over by any trucks and I called mom to come up and help us look.
In the meantime I headed back inside to look again (even though I knew he wasn't in the house) and decided I'd better look in the van again (even though it was locked and I didn't see him when I looked through the windows). As I unlocked the van, the lights came on inside and I could see Brick's legs sticking up from the stroller in the back of the van. I couldn't see his head and he wasn't moving. Filled with absolute terror, I opened the back of the van. His head was under the stroller, his legs and arms out and he was fast asleep. I picked him up and he immediately woke up and started crying. "I stuck, mommy. I stuck," he cried. He told me he had gotten in the van to look for his lunch box because he was going to Parents Day Out with Mailee (Mark had already packed his lunch box and put it in the locked pantry). While he was in there he'd accidently locked himself in the van and then gotten stuck in the back. No one could hear him yelling and he apparently cried himself to sleep. The poor thing was so upset and kept saying over and over that he was stuck and needed his lunch box. Mom walked up about this time and saw that I had found him. We called Dad down off the hill and tried to calm down together.
For the first time in weeks I wasn't mad at Brick for making me crazy. I was just grateful I'd found him and not under the wheels of a bulldozer. I know he will continue to get himself in trouble and I know that someday soon we'll visit an emergency room for more stitches or something, but I'm just glad to have him, craziness and all.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
What's New
I've been horribly negligent about updating my blog, but I haven't really felt like I've had all that much to share. There certainly isn't anything witty to write about and in any case my witticism died many years ago along with my creativity. Nonetheless, I feel the need to do a little writing and maybe just a little venting.
On Monday Mailee had her preschool Christmas concert. She goes to Bethel Baptist preschool on 291. It's a nice preschool, a little religious, of course, but not overly Baptisty and we really like it. She routinely brings home nativity pictures and sheets that say "God created Heaven and Earth," and the Bible verse for the month but she hasn't brought home any crosses, so its actually pretty nice. Anyway, the concert was awesome. It lasted for maybe 20 minutes, which is the perfect length for kids that age and it was only weird when they sang Happy Birthday to Jesus. Then yesterday they had their "Jesus Birthday Party" at school. She came home with a lot of stuff, including a slide whistle that says "Happy Birthday Jesus" on it and a jingle bell bracelet that says "Jingle for Jesus." I kid you not. Protestants are weird.
Not that our own ward doesn't get a little protestanty from time to time. They always want Mark to sing in church, which is great, but it is rarely just a straight up song from the hymn book, which bothers him because he prefers hymns. For the Christmas Sacrament Program they were trying to get approval from the stake for Mark to sing and play his classical guitar which he was a little uncomfortable with, but what can he do. Approval did not come through so now he is just singing (thankfully). Now lets just hope it is a nice song from the hymnbook and not a more protestant Christmas song like "Shepherd Boy" or "Mary did you know?" Not that there is anything wrong with that.
In other news, I'm pregnant (like any of you could forget) and I hate it. I complain enough that I don't think anyone could ever forget. I am enormously grateful to be pregnant, I just don't like it. I also feel so tricked. My pregnancy with Brick wasn't the greatest( I had those stomach muscle problems towards the end and then the slight preclampsia), but energy wise I felt like it was just fine. Then I spent the last two years eating right and exercising all in preparation for the next pregnancy. I figured if I really got healthy and strong the next pregnancy would be so much easier. Plus I lost all my extra weight. I had really high hopes. So I got pregnant. The first trimester was hard because I was nauseous and tired and then I thought it would get better. Well, now I'm not nauseous anymore, but I just don't have any energy. It's like my fibromyalgia has come back full strength. Walking across the house wears me out and forget shopping. The baby is already so heavy and I can feel the stress on my muscles. I'm completely useless to my family. Mark has to do literally everything when he gets home and he is so tired. I'm just wondering when it will end and I will be able to pull my weight again. I'm sorry to complain. It is just so emotionally overwhelming. I don't do well mentally when I don't feel well.
Anyway, that is the latest for us.
On Monday Mailee had her preschool Christmas concert. She goes to Bethel Baptist preschool on 291. It's a nice preschool, a little religious, of course, but not overly Baptisty and we really like it. She routinely brings home nativity pictures and sheets that say "God created Heaven and Earth," and the Bible verse for the month but she hasn't brought home any crosses, so its actually pretty nice. Anyway, the concert was awesome. It lasted for maybe 20 minutes, which is the perfect length for kids that age and it was only weird when they sang Happy Birthday to Jesus. Then yesterday they had their "Jesus Birthday Party" at school. She came home with a lot of stuff, including a slide whistle that says "Happy Birthday Jesus" on it and a jingle bell bracelet that says "Jingle for Jesus." I kid you not. Protestants are weird.
Not that our own ward doesn't get a little protestanty from time to time. They always want Mark to sing in church, which is great, but it is rarely just a straight up song from the hymn book, which bothers him because he prefers hymns. For the Christmas Sacrament Program they were trying to get approval from the stake for Mark to sing and play his classical guitar which he was a little uncomfortable with, but what can he do. Approval did not come through so now he is just singing (thankfully). Now lets just hope it is a nice song from the hymnbook and not a more protestant Christmas song like "Shepherd Boy" or "Mary did you know?" Not that there is anything wrong with that.
In other news, I'm pregnant (like any of you could forget) and I hate it. I complain enough that I don't think anyone could ever forget. I am enormously grateful to be pregnant, I just don't like it. I also feel so tricked. My pregnancy with Brick wasn't the greatest( I had those stomach muscle problems towards the end and then the slight preclampsia), but energy wise I felt like it was just fine. Then I spent the last two years eating right and exercising all in preparation for the next pregnancy. I figured if I really got healthy and strong the next pregnancy would be so much easier. Plus I lost all my extra weight. I had really high hopes. So I got pregnant. The first trimester was hard because I was nauseous and tired and then I thought it would get better. Well, now I'm not nauseous anymore, but I just don't have any energy. It's like my fibromyalgia has come back full strength. Walking across the house wears me out and forget shopping. The baby is already so heavy and I can feel the stress on my muscles. I'm completely useless to my family. Mark has to do literally everything when he gets home and he is so tired. I'm just wondering when it will end and I will be able to pull my weight again. I'm sorry to complain. It is just so emotionally overwhelming. I don't do well mentally when I don't feel well.
Anyway, that is the latest for us.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
My Son is Smart
Today is kind of a lazy day. It is cold and wet outside and Brick is congested so we are staying in. I'm trying to catch up on my internet stuff and teach Mailee to sew with a needle and thread. A pretty relaxed day.
Well, I was laying on the couch downstairs reading my book while Mailee sewed, when Brick came up and handed me two trains. "Stay there," he said, and walked off. "Ok. I'll stay here," I said. I thought he wanted me to watch his trains while he went to find more.
A minute later I heard a rustling noise. I sat up and looked into the kitchen and there was Brick with his hand in the Splenda bag! Smart little thing had handed me his trains to distract me while he went for the good stuff! All I could really do was laugh and clean up the mess.
It's when they do stuff like that that I'm reminded of how special they are. It make me love them more. Now, if Mailee had done the same thing I'm not sure I would have found it so funny, but there is a big difference between a two year old tricking you and a 4 and a half year old doing it. In any case, I do love my kids.
Well, I was laying on the couch downstairs reading my book while Mailee sewed, when Brick came up and handed me two trains. "Stay there," he said, and walked off. "Ok. I'll stay here," I said. I thought he wanted me to watch his trains while he went to find more.
A minute later I heard a rustling noise. I sat up and looked into the kitchen and there was Brick with his hand in the Splenda bag! Smart little thing had handed me his trains to distract me while he went for the good stuff! All I could really do was laugh and clean up the mess.
It's when they do stuff like that that I'm reminded of how special they are. It make me love them more. Now, if Mailee had done the same thing I'm not sure I would have found it so funny, but there is a big difference between a two year old tricking you and a 4 and a half year old doing it. In any case, I do love my kids.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Nobel Joke
I got up this morning and poured cereal for the kids then sat down in front of the computer with my own bowl to read Fark and catch up on the world "not news." Imagine my surprise and HORROR when I read that Obama has been awarded the Nobel Prize! For what, I ask. For his "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples." Are you freaking kidding me? I do this everyday when I pull my kids off each other and admonish them to be nice to each other and their friends. I absolutely cannot believe this sack of crap has been given the Nobel prize for incessantly running his gaping hole of a mouth.
The prize committee admits that they gave him the award in hopes that it would encourage him to achieve peace in the Middle East. Again, are you kidding me? Those people have been fighting for thousands of years. I seriously doubt an over-privileged socialist with a horse for a wife is going to achieve what millions of men have struggled for over the centuries. Again, I would like to mention that he has of yet accomplished nothing except for being adept with rhetoric.
The deadline to submit the nominations for the prize was February 1st, not even two weeks after Obama went into office. The committee began accepting nominations back in September of 08. This is completely absurd. The man had done NOTHING when he was nominated.
I think most will agree with me when I say this was the most undeserved award ever awarded. Except maybe for Taylor Swift's VMA because Beyonce had the best video of all time. All time.
The prize committee admits that they gave him the award in hopes that it would encourage him to achieve peace in the Middle East. Again, are you kidding me? Those people have been fighting for thousands of years. I seriously doubt an over-privileged socialist with a horse for a wife is going to achieve what millions of men have struggled for over the centuries. Again, I would like to mention that he has of yet accomplished nothing except for being adept with rhetoric.
The deadline to submit the nominations for the prize was February 1st, not even two weeks after Obama went into office. The committee began accepting nominations back in September of 08. This is completely absurd. The man had done NOTHING when he was nominated.
I think most will agree with me when I say this was the most undeserved award ever awarded. Except maybe for Taylor Swift's VMA because Beyonce had the best video of all time. All time.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Disney is responsible for PETA
Since the kids woke me up before the crack of dawn this morning and I needed to calm my rage, we are watching "Finding Nemo" while I blog. During the scene where they go to the Sharks Anonymous meeting I came to the conclusion that Disney should be held responsible for all the bleeding hearts out there who refuse to eat meat.
Disney takes animals, who in all actuality probably aren't that smart or self aware and gives them human personalities and traits. After 90 minutes of watching this we all get caught up in the poor animal and it's struggle to survive while evil humans everywhere are plotting to destroy it.
Case in point: "Finding Nemo." This has PETA written all over it. First of all, we are supposed to believe that fish live in little families and go to school and purchase real estate. Secondly, we are supposed to buy that it is in any way feasible that a group of sharks would decide to stop eating fish out of some kind of awareness that fish have thoughts and feelings and lives. 1. No they don't, and 2. what else are sharks supposed to eat? Thirdly, the evil human diver takes the fish away from his family and his environment thereby causing heartache. Again, it is a FISH! Some wacko scientists out there (http://www.fishinghurts.com/feat-hiddenfish.asp cut and paste it, okay) say that fish are highly intelligent and that they work well with others, but I just don't think that means they sit around all day analyzing their feelings. I mean, if you put certain ones in a tank with any others they start eating their tank mates!
Second case: "Bambi" PETA strikes again. I don't actually care too much for Bambi. I don't know why. Once again we have to watch a bunch of animals frolicking around and being human like. Then the big bad evil hunter who just likes to watch things bleed shoots Bambi's mom for no good reason. It certainly couldn't have been because he and his family were hungry! Now I feel bad because Bambi is an orphan and because I had a hamburger last night (which I know isn't deer meat, but that's not the point). I'm personally convinced that Bambi is responsible for all people who are vegetarians.
This applies to nearly all Disney movies. Even the ones with human main characters follow the formula of giving said human an animal sidekick who acts human. Examples: Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White. And what is the result of all this personification of animals. No kid, after realizing that he is actually eating one of Nemo's friends will ever eat fish again. And they are FISH!
Mission accomplished, PETA.
Disney takes animals, who in all actuality probably aren't that smart or self aware and gives them human personalities and traits. After 90 minutes of watching this we all get caught up in the poor animal and it's struggle to survive while evil humans everywhere are plotting to destroy it.
Case in point: "Finding Nemo." This has PETA written all over it. First of all, we are supposed to believe that fish live in little families and go to school and purchase real estate. Secondly, we are supposed to buy that it is in any way feasible that a group of sharks would decide to stop eating fish out of some kind of awareness that fish have thoughts and feelings and lives. 1. No they don't, and 2. what else are sharks supposed to eat? Thirdly, the evil human diver takes the fish away from his family and his environment thereby causing heartache. Again, it is a FISH! Some wacko scientists out there (http://www.fishinghurts.com/feat-hiddenfish.asp cut and paste it, okay) say that fish are highly intelligent and that they work well with others, but I just don't think that means they sit around all day analyzing their feelings. I mean, if you put certain ones in a tank with any others they start eating their tank mates!
Second case: "Bambi" PETA strikes again. I don't actually care too much for Bambi. I don't know why. Once again we have to watch a bunch of animals frolicking around and being human like. Then the big bad evil hunter who just likes to watch things bleed shoots Bambi's mom for no good reason. It certainly couldn't have been because he and his family were hungry! Now I feel bad because Bambi is an orphan and because I had a hamburger last night (which I know isn't deer meat, but that's not the point). I'm personally convinced that Bambi is responsible for all people who are vegetarians.
This applies to nearly all Disney movies. Even the ones with human main characters follow the formula of giving said human an animal sidekick who acts human. Examples: Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White. And what is the result of all this personification of animals. No kid, after realizing that he is actually eating one of Nemo's friends will ever eat fish again. And they are FISH!
Mission accomplished, PETA.
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