Saturday, November 22, 2008

Glenn Beck Rocks

Ok, this post isn't really all about Glenn Beck. I just wanted to point out that he rocks. I am really sad that I don't get to listen to him everyday and when I do listen it is usually only for a few minutes at a time. That said, what this post is really about it 'Twilight.' I've sucked you into a post about a teen vampire book. Ha ha ha (maniacal laughter). Actually, I just wanted to say that on Friday's show Glenn Beck mentioned the 'Twilight' series and the new movie coming out this weekend. He highly recommends the books and he pointed out that they aren't just teen vampire books. And, since Glenn Beck is right about nearly everything, that means that you all should read the books. Including you, Danny.

Anyway, Korynn and I are going to see the movie today with some other Elder's Quorum wives and I really hope I like it. I am setting myself up for disappointment, though. Movies never really are as good as the books they were based on.

I'm out.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Here's Your Politics, Spencer

Okay. Spencer said I couldn't be under "Cool People" because my blog is not politically motivated. Apparently, since I am to the center of right I'm just not right-wing enough for all of you gun-toting right-wingers. Although, I would like to point out that I do own a BB gun and I killed a bird with it (teach those birds not to eat my grass seed), so I am fairly hardcore for being center right(Mark is so proud).

Anyway, I introduce here a political topic: GLOBAL CURRENCY.
This idea is worse than craptastic. It is Obamatastic. Let's just put aside the whole G20 thing (or whatever they called it) and what a bad idea I think that was, and move on to the disaster that is instituting a global currency. From what I understand of Glenn Beck's show today, there would actually be 3 different currencies; European, Asian? and American currency. In order for this to work, we would have to stabilize the economies of North and SOUTH America, which would mean the value of our money would drop drastically. WHAT THE HECK? Who thought up this crap? Who decided that it would be a good idea to take that $50 that we have left over at the end of the month and turn it into NOTHING?

Let's look beyond what it would do to all of our savings accounts and look at a bigger picture. Shouldn't the American people have a say in this? Aren't we supposed to be a republic? Will this standard even be based on something substantial like gold? Why does our government hate us?

In don't have a sophisticated enough understanding of economics or business or politics to really articulate why I have a problem with this. That's really Mark's department. I just know that I don't like this. I don't like going to bed with all these other countries and having to play by their rules. I don't like that little by little we are losing everything that used to set us apart from the rest of the world. What can we do? Do we have to sit idly by and watch our government be ruled by socialists?

Thoughts?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Ballerinas, Tantrums, Tampons, Poop and Ladies

First off, I'd like to say to Spencer, I can't believe you have me listed under "Family" and not under "Cool People." That hurts. Jerk.

Secondly, we just finished another exciting second weekend of November, where my husband proved that he is the strongest and most secure man in the world. Last weekend, Mark donned his tights, lined his eyes, dusted off his ballet shoes, and pointed his toes in his ninth fall performance with Blue Springs Ballet. He showcased his freakish strength by lifting many girls, some of whom had lifted many ho-hos (I'm serious. Ask Sharel how big that girl was). Also, I made his costume this year and he looked so good in it. So, now we get to relax until next year when the whirlwind of rehearsals, costume fittings and tantrums from emotional ballerinas who've soothed their feelings with a truckload of doritos (I should have gotten the lead this year! It's not fair!) continues.

Thirdly, Brick is in his tantrum phase, so I spend most of my days wishing I drank something stronger than Diet Dr. Pepper. Nearly everyday when he wakes up from his nap he screams for about 30 minutes or until I am able to distract him into calming down. It goes something like this:
From his crib in Brick talk, "Mooooommm! I'm up now! Come get me!"
I go into the room. "Hey, mom. How's it goi...wait a minute. You left me in here to sleep and I have just remembered that you are the worst mom ever. And, I know you aren't going to nurse me when you get me out of here." I walk towards him and reach down to pick him up. He pushes my hands away. "Don't touch me! I hate you! Get out of my room!" I back away and say, "All right, if you aren't ready to get out then I will leave." Then he screams, "Where are you going? Get me out of here! No! Don't touch me! I hate you!" It goes on like this until I walk out and shut the door (at which point he starts saying words that shouldn't be repeated) or until I just pick him up and set him on the floor. Once I do get him out and put him down he screams for me to pick him up and the screams for me to put him down and then throws in more stuff about how he hates me and I have ruined his life. It is a vicious cycle that was only interrupted today because Mailee threw her ballet skirt over his head and yelled, "Where'd Bricky go?" and then he started laughing. Bless her for her distractions.

Fourthly, Brick is now into everything. He likes to pull the underwear out of my drawers and play with the toilet brush. He likes to turn the hot water on in the tub and crawl under the sink. He pulls shirts off hangers and bowls out of drawers. But, his absolute favorite thing to do is play with feminine hygiene products. He likes to pull tampons out of the box and string them all over the upstairs. Then he likes to go back and pick them up and put them back in the box. Repeat process. Thankfully, he has not yet figured out how to unwrap them.

Lastly, Mailee is such a lady. Last night we had burrito/haystacks for dinner. She finished her burrito and proudly proclaimed, "Mother, I ate all my burrito!"
"Good job, Mailee. I am so proud of you!" I said. "Good job!" Mark said between bites.
"It just went into my stomach," she said. "That's right," I said. Mark grunted. Brick made the sign for "more" (he just learned it!) and I gave him more rice.
"Now it's just going into my bottom," she giggled. "And I'm going to have to go potty again soon," she sang it out. "Ok, Mailee," I said. "Yeah, it's going to come out poopy and I'm going to sit down and go uhhnnnn," she grunted like she was going to the potty.
Mark piped up from his end of the table. "Mailee, that is not appropriate dinner conversation. We don't talk about poop at the table." She looked at him for a minute and I believe she actually sighed. Then she turned to me and said, "Mother, can I have another burrito?"

Monday, November 10, 2008

Fluffies and Ladies

So, one night last week we had to drive to the park and ride on Woods Chapel Rd to pick Mark's truck up (I think we picked him up from work and can't remember why). So, Mailee, Brick and I are driving back home in the dark and Mailee says from the backseat, "Mother." (Yeah, she calls me "Mother" now.) "Mother, I just had to make a fluffy but I couldn't push it out."
Okay, thanks for that information.
"Then I just pushed it out and it came out."
Again, thanks.
"Mother, what are fluffies?"
"Well, Mailee, fluffies are gas that gets trapped in your stomach and then it comes out of our bottoms and because it comes out where our poopie comes out it stinks." I know that isn't the most sophisticated explanation but give me a break.
"Oh," she says. "Yeah, and then they just come out on our panties!" Now she is giggling in the backseat. Then she stops giggling. "Mother, why do fluffies come out on our panties?"
"Well, because we wear panties on our bottoms."
"Why do we wear panties on our bottoms?"
Big sigh from me. "Because, Heavenly Father wants us to keep our bottoms covered."
"Why does Heavenly Father just want us to keep our bottoms covered?"
"Because our bottoms are special and we shouldn't show them to other people."
"Yeah, because if we show them to other people then we will get in trouble."
Okay. I don't think this is really the time or place for a discussion on morality, so I am not sure what to say. So, I was sitting there thinking how to respond to this pretty serious observation, when she says:
"Look, Mother! I can see my shadow."
Thank goodness 3 year olds have such a short attention span.